tonight, we were strolling along in the mall, hand in hand, talking about our day, planning for the future and laughing at past mistakes. you were teasing me about my idiosyncrasies, and i grabbed a random dress and played the Would-you-love-me-if..." game with you. then you pulled my hoodie over my head and kissed my hair and said "i cant believe how hot my girlfriend looks". then we went for ice cream. mine all chocolate, yours all vanilla. and we laughed at how funny it looked side by side and how it has always been that way. and then somehow the scene changed. it was no longer you in front of me, and i was no longer laughing. instead i was looking into the sad face of JEL and there was nothing but apologies and tears in the air. someone was crying, someone else was screaming. it was utter chaos. and in the midst of all that i found you standing in a corner watching. and the moment our eyes met i knew, i had lost you already. and i watched you walk away after saying to me "nah...you guys wont last. come on just look at you, what a joke." i was broken by your words and i turned back trying to find jel for comfort but i was too late again, i turned around just in time to see him with that girl in his arms and said "im getting a second chance to start over again with her. im not gonna screw it up with you, like you." and then there was silence....
tonight was one of those nights where my dreams were more vivid than ever. and more haunting. more real than ever before. i am truly, a pathetic mess, really i am. i cant face the truth in reality so i let them haunt me in my sleep. i've given up thinking. singlehood hasnt been kind to me. blah.....i dont even have the strength to think and write. fml.
"dont you think we oughta move along."
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