that empty feeling

this is real annoying. once again, my old friend-the virus, has decided to pay me a visit. i am falling sick again and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. now, that really sucks. the best part about is was that somehow i knew it was going to happen sooner or later. i've felt it coming for about 3 weeks now and the good doctor in me had already started working. but i guess, i slacked on the meds over the weekend cuz i was just waay too distracted.

that's really not fair. i feel like i should be given another chance to be healthy again. i am totally jealous of people who can get up and run and run for hours like how i used to able to. but another old friend-asthma, just decided after YEARS, that i was getting a little too lonely for my own good. if i even attempted to exert myself i would fall and never wake the same again. hmm, drama inez?

anyway on a happier note, im feeling kinda pleased with myself. i actually had the guts to get into the waters in the bigger pool. gosh i feel like a kid. thinking back, i feel really dumb. what the hell was i thinking about?! i could have gotten myself killed that was the MOST dangerous thing i have done since forever. i mean, i love being in the waters just that it scares me at the same time? really, walking home just now i decided to stop by the pool to take a look and as i stood at the edge of the pool i thought to myself..fuck? i got in there? what in the WORLD could have made me get in man.

as of now i feel like the bravest person around. like..hey guess what i dipped myself into the big pool. it may not seem like a big deal but that was probably the bravest thing i have EVER made myself do. ok i feel like snuggling in bed now and keeping warm. but on the other hand i refuse to be in bed sick again! i hate that feeling! gosh let me go be miserable. at least i have like these 2o people talking to me on msn.

"when im cold inside, you are warm and bright. you know you are so good for me."