this crave for more is killing me. somehow these past few days i've feel like i've been caught in a moment of inertia. i want more, need more, need better. for myself and for everything that i have. there's something out there waiting for me.
this thirst for the unknown, something is changing in my life. i can feel it. these last 2 weeks, i can't stop this hunger in my heart. these pangs of anxiety, the rush of excitement, knowing that the course of my future, the path of my life is changing.
i can't quite put my finger on it just yet. i can't even figure out which part of my life pushing at it's seams waiting to burst and lead me on my path. but these feelings, this hunger, this thirst, this yearning, is bigger than i am. bigger than i can comprehend.
i need out of this life. i need out of this routine, this being stuck on this island, i need out. this place is too small for me, or maybe i'm too big for it, too ready to start, too sharp to stop. i need something more, something new. to start a life, MY life. i need to go back to the way i was - bright young happy strong alive free. and yet i need to grow and move on. bigger, better, stronger, freer.
there's this thirst in me that keeps saying there's something missing from my life. there's something missing... i'm in the wrong crowd, in the wrong place, in the wrong country, in the wrong body... i can't explain it. i've never felt this way before and it's exciting, unnerving, scary. it makes me wanna cry in despair but at the same time, there's a excitement in knowing that there's so much more to my life, i just need to live it out and reach its potential. my life has room for so much more. that alone is enough to override whatever anxiety it puts me through and say.... 'i will search for you. i will find you. i will let this happen to me. i will make it happen.'
No comments:
Post a Comment