so now that i'm sober and for the first time in the past couple of days i have been not... well, high of sorts, i decided to take down the previous post that i had written. simply because it was written while i was in an intoxicated state of mind and spilling raw emotion from wounds that i thought had healed a long time ago. well apparently not.
i'm not quite sure what i was thinking as i was sitting there on the edge of my bed, very much intoxicated, crying away and fingers furiously dancing across the keyboard trying to get out as much as i could. failed of course, seeing as how i've now had it removed. if reading that post (if any did, i hope none though) didnt make you wanna make you reach out and plant a huge deserving slap across my face, then maybe the endless number of spelling mistakes and typing errors and repeated sentences and words would.
hmm. i dont quite know what to say right now. just a half hour ago while i was cleaning my room my mind was thinking thinking thinking of a million and one things. but now that i'm actually setting myself down to properly think out and plan my words right, these thoughts fail me.
i kissed someone last night, anyway. someone new of course. and... well... it's been awhile since someone has sat at a table with me having light hearted fun conversations over tons and tons of alcohol and good fun and good friends and yet pulling me close and holding my hand under the table. man i felt like i was back in high school again. and then obviously, naturally, we kissed at the end of the night (or morning i should say). and when he sent me home he got out of the cab and pulled me in into another one of his sweet alcoholic kisses. he's very cute. nice to have someone hold my hand, and hug me, and pull me close for a bit. even if it was just for one night. plus he can speak french with me! and italian! took away that lonely feeling for abit and really, it made all the difference between an average night, and a bloody fuckawesome one.
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