we will always be together.

i've come to the realization that we will always be the kind of couple that, even when they're not together, they'll still be a couple. even if we are not in a relationship, whenever we're near each other, there will always be this energy, this connection that we cannot run away from. we will be the kind of couple that still needs to say something to each other, even if there is nothing to talk about. because just being apart would be wrong, and not talking to each other, not hearing each other's voices, would be against everything we've ever come to know as real and true. and no matter how hard we ever try to just be "friends", we will always be the kind to naturally fall back into each other. and no matter what happens in life, i will always refer to him as mine. and i am his, always. and i will always be his.

there's no escaping it. we just belong to each other. i cant even try to explain it in any other way. it's as simple as that. he and i will always fit together perfectly - even if we dont want to, even if we try to wholeheartedly deny it. and again, there's no explanation behind this, it's just the way we are. just the kind of love we carry in our hearts for one another. it's just the way we love each other. it makes it such that we will never be apart.

nothing will ever fit right unless he's in my life. he can never ever be the kind of guy that, in future, i look back and say 'he's just someone i used to date'. i cant. it's more than that. i know this in my heart. even on my wedding day i know, if i ever get married, all i have to do is look at him, and every memory we've ever had together, every happy moment every fight every kiss every embrace, will come flooding back to me and make my heart ache. he will always be special. i dont even know if i'm making sense now. he will always be that soft spot in my heart.

i love him. and nothing HAS fit right since he stopped talking to me. everyday i still wake up feeling lost. not knowing what the right thing to do is. not knowing even WHAT to do with my time and my life. my friends call me constantly, asking me to go out, and yet i dont feel right doing it. it doesnt even make sense to me. nothing is right if it doesnt have him in it. to be honest, i feel very crippled without him. it's like suddenly i'm left on my own and yes, i know that i can make it on my own even without him, but it's not the same, and i will never ever BE the same again. i dont do it with the same confidence i used to have when i am with him. he makes me feel protected. stronger, braver, surer, almost like i can take on the world and fall and still be ok as long as i have him to go home to. i'm just a little uncertain without him. a little afraid to venture out into the world without him to fall back to.

i more than miss him. more than love him.
he is a part of me and how can that be taken away from me?
i more than love him.
i cant even begin to explain.

"and i stood at a distance to feel who you are, 

hiding myself in your eyes. "