peace

when you learn to still yourself, this sense of peace just really comes naturally. it's so awesome. it's really really honestly been a really long time since i've felt like this. i've spent the past week in utter contentment with myself, with my life, and with where i am at this moment in time. and it's been the most fuckamazing best week of my life.

now when i say it's the best week if my life i dont mean in a scheduling scene. this past week has been the most busy and running-up-and-down-and-everywhere week for me. with so many things to do, so many deadlines to meet, so many people to deal with and it's just been chaotic. and yet i the midst of all that i was able to find small pockets of time to just sit down, and enjoy a ciggie in between meetings and classes and it was those 5 minutes were enough to put a smile on my face, simply because in my hearts of hearts, i was at peace with myself.

all these external chaotic mess wearied only my physical being and not my emotional spirit. how i wish that everyone i know could experience such peace and contentment. like there's no hatred and no pain and no suffering, at all. sigh wow. that's what i lose out on when i get upset or angry? my god, if that is the case then i never wanna have such feelings of negativity ever again. life is beautiful man! learn to live it the way it should be! stop thinking of why this why that all the time. why am i not good enough, why didnt i get this opportunity, why are people treating me like this, when and how should i take revenge... GROSS! all this negativity is going to kill you in the end! i can NEVER imagine being at a ripe matured age of like, say 30, and still feel such unsettledness in my heart. dude chill, sometime you've just gotta learn to leave and let live.

so people out there who are sad and unhappy. try this for just once in your life. for a whole month, try to take at least 5 minutes of your day, perhaps before you sleep or after you wake up or something convenient like that, and give thanks for all the things in your life that you are grateful for. and dont come and tell me that you've got nothing to be grateful for, i'll slap you. the very fact you sit here reading this just goes to show how lucky you to be able to sit and comfortably and read. give thanks for your parents who love you, give thanks for the friend who called you up just now, even if it's to complain about something for 2 minutes before hanging up. give thanks for the fact you woke up this morning healthy and alive. or just give thanks for the fact that you are going to lie down on a comfortable bed and give thanks for the ability to escape into your dreamworld as you sleep. just... be grateful. then take a few deep breaths and tell yourself this.

"today, i am going to bring nothing but good energy to myself and the people around me. what i sow i reap. and today i will sow peace." =)