it's a wrap

so here comes the time of the year where i start of reflect and assess the year that has just gone by, 2010. i can very clearly and very easily state that this year has been a really really awful year for me. there's really no other nicer way to say it and it breaks my heart to know that. it's been really tough this year. i broke up with adrian this year and spent the rest of the year loving a man who doesnt and wouldnt love me back. i spent majority of the year pretending to be a nobody to my special somebody.. this year i probably went through the biggest heartache ever and emotionally i was stretched beyond what i could imagine.

i learnt that there was a limit to my strength and 2010 was the year for me to reach it. for the second time in my life i hit depression. my another all time low. i dunno how much stronger i can be and truthfully, im really glad the year is coming to an end. i really really desperately hope, that 2011 will hold better things for me. better opportunities, better love life, better hopes. at the very least this year i got to see my brother. much as it breaks my heart even more to see and know that i missed out on the growing up of my dearest brother. also, ive kept to my last year's resolution to blog more often because it is healthier for me to not keep things inside, as i have done probably my whole life. this blog has been my only outlet and without it i probably would have attempted suicide earlier.

honestly, this has been a really tough year for me. i dunno how i managed to last this long. from family, to school, to money, to friends, to ex-boyfriends to julian. friends...oh god how they disappoint me. 2010 has brought forward and opened my eyes to the true colours and ugly characters of the friends i once thought were the closest of the lot. i am truly and genuinely disappointed and disgusted. i finally see life for what it is and i am sad that that has happened.d i am only 22. i shoudnt have to know life this year and grow up so fast. this should be the time of my life to enjoy the best perks of life, not see it for the truly jaded and mad place it is. this year has got me jaded beyond words. it's just not fair, but i guess, life's not fair. i have finally lost all faith in humanity.

i dont know what else to say and what else to do. i can only hope, and even then i cant get my hopes high, that 2011 will bring better things for me. i am giving faith to the mysteries of the universe in hopes that it will bring me all that im looking for, peace. because i know only with inner peace can there be joy and happiness. and honestly, that's all i ever wanted.

"all i wanted was you"