i feel like laughing. feel like laughing out loud in disbelieve at my stupidity. i feel like i've been running and running from you, afraid of you and the damage you can cause only to realize that at the end of things, there was never a need to run at all. you, my friend, are truly amazing. only you alone are capable of sending the whole world into this wild goose chase and keep them running on. hats off to you. your capacity for thought and manipulation is ever astounding and i honestly have no idea how you handle that. all the little seeds of lies that you've planted along the way have now grown full-scale and i promise you, the weight of it all is gonna crush you one day. you will not get away with all the lies you've been telling, all the lives you've been destroying. so please, dont be too quick to claim that last laugh.
you know, im past the stage asking what i did wrong in our friendship. i now know that the only problem we ever had was your insecurities and your incapability to be honest. really, if i mean so little to you that you have no problems cutting me off, the go ahead, cut me off completely from your life, i give you full permission to do so. if you would like me to be upset over it for awhile, i could act it out for you till you're pleased if you want. like your parents said, you're like a spoilt little kid wanting that shiny new toy. and there is always gonna be some new toy that you'll want, some shiny new lie you wanna plant somewhere.
i've told you this time and again and i'll tell you now, i respect your wishes. i will continue helping you till the day you tell me "your job is done" and im pretty sure you've got that message conveyed pretty clearly. so fine, i will stop being engulfed by you and start getting a move on in my life. about time i think you do the same. however before i completely forgive myself for being so stupid around you, there are just a few things i would like to clear the air with.
during those months of terror with you i have done nothing but exactly what you want me to. i have said nothing to no one and told no friends about this. if they know, it's only because of your facebook statuses and countdowns that you constantly update, even while on the "run". i have gone by your family's s instruction and tried to keep things within the family as much as possible. dont you dare accuse me of "spreading" the story far and wide because i swear on my life, I DID NOT. all that i have said is the whole and full truth. all the advances you have made on me that make me uncomfortable, try as i may to ignore, it does not mean that i am comfortable with it. i invite you into my company and house to help you and hopefully let your family breathe a little, not for you to try to sleep with me. i do not appreciate that one bit. and lastly, if you would stop for a minute to think about who the misinformed fool really is. instead of getting the truth out me personally you go around trying to "gather" information about me and the people around me and what you get instead is a 3rd/4th/5th-hand recount of what the truth really is, so tell me, who does that make to be MISINFORMED?
the moment you burned the bridges with me i simply turned and walked away while you stand there on your side of the river waiting to see if i would be upset, why? is there a need to? what exactly DO YOU WANT FROM ME? if there is something you're not happy with me about me please tell me straight. do not go about making a mountain out of a molehill and try to stand guard behind some lame excuse and pretend that's why you're angry with me. cuz im not stupid. i know what you're trying to do.
so with that said. i hope you're happy with your life and i, at this point in time, really do still honestly wish you well because i feel really sorry for you. good night.
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