dear you, i am so sick and tired of your games, of your lies and twisted words. of trying to turn everyone against each other just to feel justified. i hate how the problem is ALWAYS everyone else and never you. NEVER you. i hate how you cannot handle the truth and you make yourself feel so victimized all the fucking time. so you think im a fuck up? well im sorry to tell you but it takes a one fuck up to know another. i hope sometimes you stop and learn some forgiveness. learn to let go of things because we are suffering for all your grudges and old scores. i wish you have given me my life when i asked for it. now im sorry because it's too late. i'm taking things into my own hands now and if you dont like it the too bad and fuck off. i played the game nicely by your rules long enough. i am so sick and tired of this, of you. and fuck you for all the bruises scars tears fears and all the blood i've had to shed to feed your need for power and authority. fuck you forever.
FUCK YOU
dear you too. yes fuck you for your cheating. fuck you for denying me and wishing me dead. i am very very tired of trying to be nice every time. i am sick of having to walk on eggshells around you. i dont care how fuck grumpy you are or how bad your day was, SUCK IT UP because the world doesn't owe you a living. oh and before i forget, FUCK YOU for giving up on me. fuck you for walking away from your responsibilities. FUCK YOU for all the promises you made that you never kept. fuck you for lying, for cheating, for the fights that i had to witness. for never putting us first. for walking away. FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU
now your turn. fuck you for giving up. for throwing my life into this mess that it was into. fuck you for undermining my feelings all the fucking time. you have your problems too yes i know and i was there for you when you were most down. but you, in the midst of all that drama, forgot me. fuck you for putting every else before me. taking away not just my time, but my heart and my money. for being so fucking egoistic all the time and for bulldozing me over time and time again. i really did love you. but for now, fuck you.
FUCK YOU
to the dearest you. this is for EVERY SINGLE promise that you made that you never kept. for bashing my heart so bad it was never really put back together. fuck you for bringing me on this HUGE roller-coaster ride and at the end of it telling me to fuck off. fuck you for lying to me. fuck you for all the sweet nothings and for making me weak. fuck you for taking my strength away and for finally telling me that all the hopes i had for us, all the nights i spent wishing i was where you are, all meant nothing to you. for always reminding me that i was the other woman and not THE woman because for the longest time, you were THE ONLY one for me. fuck you for turning me away when i most needed someone. fuck you for blinding me with your dazzling heart and glowing spirit. all i wanted was you. but all you wanted was just to fuck me. so fuck you for that.
FUCK YOU
oh you. what else can i say to you that you have not already heard huh? you are selfish and ungrateful. cunning and conniving. you bring people close just to tear them apart with a tighter grip, and to think that you relish in their pain. i hope you're reading this. and i hope it burns you forever for knowing that i don't give a shit about how well connected we are or arent. i GIVE UP on you and i really dont care and cannot be bothered anymore. i hope you rot in your own guilt one day. if that day should come because honestly, from what i've seen, you dont seem to have a conscience. fuck you, for screwing up my life for me. FUCK Y OU.
FUCK YOU
you, you still are a weak spot for me. i think you know that too. but still, fuck you. for turning me invisible. for forgetting that i had a heart once too. fuck you for making me fall. for turning my insides out and then letting me burn. for making me laugh and cry, for bringing me up then down. for stirring this confusion in me and letting it overboil. for confusing me and throwing me into despair. fuck you for not trying. fuck you for not having enough faith in me. you said you would never want to let anyone else feel this way too, but im sorry, never say never because it is already too late. and for all the things you say which hurt that i keep quiet about, fuck you too. fuck you for trying to hide from the world and in the process hiding everything around you. dont you EVER DARE get frustrated with me because i dont do things the way you do to fill your own insecurity gap. i may have put my heart out on the line for you but fuck you, i will not be blinded by love again. it would kill me to have to let you go but if that is what you want, the sont drag this any further and tell me now before i fall any deeper. for not having the courage to stand alongside me, for dragging me along aimlessly, for ignoring my questions and for not having the courage to face my raw heart with yours. fuck you.
and finally,
FUCK YOU.
fuck you for being the biggest letdown around. for being such a huge disappointment. for you for all the years of emotional abuse you put yourself through. for not loving yourself enough. fuck you for always falling for the same mold. fuck you for giving yourself too many chances, for trusting too much. for having such a fucked up life, fuck you. for the past 22 years you have been nothing but a big regret and disappointment even your own family didnt want you anymore. fuck you for being such a failure. fuck you, for being you. fuck you for being different, because people dont want different, they want the common. fuck you for feeling energies, for all the times you got dragged down by people because you love and care too much. fuck you. i wish you lost your heart and i wish you would be alone forever so that you would never be hurt again. fuck you for always breaking promises to yourself. fuck you for always giving. fuck you for not learning to shamelessly keep taking like the rest of the world does. it's a selfish world we live in and fuck you for not realizing that by now.fuck you for letting the world take advantage of you. fuck you for being weak, fuck you for failing, for falling, for loving. it's never worth it because people will only love themselves and nobody else. fuck you for being so naive as to wish to have someone to hold. fuck you for getting your hopes up too high for him for nothing. you know he will only disppoint you. you've been in this posiition before and look what has happened. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU MORE THAN THE REST OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED COMBINED, YOU BLOODY FAILURE.
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