The little things that remind me of you

There is an excess amount of thoughts running through my mind now. i've been lying here for the past hour trying to close my eyes and rest but each time i close my eyes, all i think of, all i can see, is you. there's just too much to be grateful for. too much to be sorry for. too many concerns, all the fears, possibilities, too many things that remind me of you. it's scary. i wanna tell you all this but i dont wanna scare you away. i dont wanna jinx it.

i feel like at last the pieces of my broken life is starting to piece itself together. all the parts of my soul that i've lost along the way are starting to be brought back by the river of life. slowly but surely it's starting to fix itself. and im sure at the end of it, it's gonna be worth all the tears and doubts. i just wish sometimes that i had known sooner. wish i had known that it was all gonna be ok in time to come. please spare me all the drama, spare me all the sobbing, all the loneliness.

my biggest heartache now is to let go. i have to start to let go of things that are dragging me down. let go of things that are gonna remind me of all that past drama, cuz i am honestly, so so so tired of all this questioning. and i know that the only way i can be open to more good in my life is of i learn to let go. maybe it's time i tell you...or maybe i should cry some more. just this time, who will cry with me?

"lead me, save me from my solitude."