attempting an attempt

so i've tried to write a few post for some days now and i always find myself deleting and rewriting and deleting and rewriting, simply because i dont really know what to say or what to write about. really, i was just trying to update this miserable excuse of a blog because i had very bravely set it as one of my new year resolutions. in fact, it was my ONLY resolution. i thought to myself, give it a go. maybe i might find a resolution that i can actually stick by and maybe that might spur me on to making more and having the confidence to stick to it.

i really dont know why im talking about resolutions when it's already 4 months into the year and i can practically count the number of times i've blogged with my fingers. ok, i dont know that for sure so i should just keep my mouth shut.

it's strange. i am so happy with my life now that sometimes i start to wonder if it is all a dream. or maybe this is the calm before the storm and something bad's gonna happen. maybe that's where all the nightmares are coming from! intuition warning me?? nevertheless, i still feel the need to be grateful for everything i am given so far.

i guess perhaps the reason for my lack of blog posts is due to the fact that i am so happy. this blog used to be a source of relief for me. a listening ear when i didnt want to burden anyone else by having them listen to me talk about my problems. it was the easiest and most conducive way for me to keep myself sane. easily accessible, i could log in and blog even in the wee hours of the morning, like now, and get everything that is bothering me off my chest. i could rant, swear, curse and bitch about anything i wanted to and this faithful blog would take it all in. but recently things have changed. i've been happier. and suddenly i've got the confidence to be doing alot more things that sit here and blog. i've found real life "blogs" in the form of my friends, the 3 lovelies that i hold so dearly close to my heart, San Thit+Lijin+Erin. these 3 girls keep me sane and they keep me happy. happier than i have ever been.

so after this whole long blabber about why i should blog more, i have come to the end of my post. i am not relly feeling very emotional at this point in time so i dont think it is a good idea for me to be blogging something very deep now. the only deep place i wanna be is in my sleep. so well, goodnight i guess, or good moring cuz the sun has alreaddy risen. now i rest.

"there's a chemistry, energy, our synchronicity when we're alone so dont tell me, you cant see, what im thinking of."