Travelling in Circles:

Much as i have every intention to blog very very regularly, work stops me. Friends stops me. the boyfriend stops me. lack of sleep...well, enough with the excuses now isnt it? i do however, have a few unfinished blog posts in my list of posts that i feel should be deleted for it contains nothing more than my feeble attempts to write out something for the sake of keeping such a resolution my new year made. but no, give in i shall not. to blog for the sake of it i will not. because i love this place too much to give it rubbish. might i just add that at this point in time i am feeling increasingly hungry, even though i had some oily greasy unhealthy mcDonalds for dinner with adrian. but if i just let my mind wonder......poached eggs with dijon mustard vinaigrette on a toasted platter of sourdough bread and thinly sliced medium rare beef slices with butterhead lettuce and basil leaves tossed in balsamic vinegar on the side. oh yummm.....

ok, shouldnt have done that.

today found me at NYP for a backstage stint as Stage Manager for a dance. god i miss the theatre. i find it hard to put in words the kind of emotion that runs through me. a hint of melancholy, maybe a bit of relief and a whole lot of worrying.

i should start off by explaining...sorry, confessing, that i have not gone to school in quite some time. i think i have skipped at least the past 5 days of school. yeah sure i do my work at home but my attendance is starting to worry me. i will, from this day on, undertake the mission of school with the utmost diligence. being in the theatre has made me realize my true love for theatre. i mean, i've always been the dancer. always been the one in the spotlight and being the face of theatre. but today, i see the theatre in a whole different light and it surprises me that i actually like it. being backstage for awhile. being the brain and heart of the place. and suddenly the seriousness of skipping school dawned upon me.

i have been traveling aimlessly and my aimlessness has brought me full circle.

i enlist NYP only to leave that place for Lasalle. and now that i am in Lasalle i skip school to be back in NYP which in turn makes me realise my love for Lasalle. how ironic. but i have gone full circle on this and it's about time i make something out of my life for no one else but myself.

it was very reminiscent too for me as i walked down the long hallways of Nanyang Polytechnic. i remember so clearly how the days were for me back in nyp. lost, scared, unhappy, love life in a mess, family in a jumble, mother in a bitchfit, and having to hide my relationship with adrian. well, those were the days. as i walk back to nyp i find it very funny. nothing has changed in me walking back, yet at the same time everything is different. i finally understand what they mean by that. cliched as it sounds. im in a whole different place and a whole different mindset.

but on a brighter note, i have happily managed to keep to at least ONE resolution for my blog-to blog happy things. and happy things it shall be. i have half a mind to blog about all the things i am grateful for in my life because that is currently how im feeling but that will be another post for another time, hopefully tomorrow, if work doesn't take over. for now, i am going to raid my kitchen fridge and find something to eat.

new post coming up on my food blog :)

"when you feel so tired but you cant sleep, stuck in reverse."