EVERYBODY SAILS ALONE, BUT WE CAN TRAVEL SIDE BY SIDE.

i'm abit tired. the week hasn't been kind to me. i've had my fair share of ups and downs this few week and i think perhaps it's time i deserve a break. i think my biggest problem now is that i can't seem to find a way to settle my emotions. i've told myself time and again to stop now before it's too late. to cut myself out completely from the intricate and delicate complication, the one they all call love. i try. but the more i distance myself from it, the more i yearn for the love and affection you get from a companion. forget the hugs and kisses. sometimes just being there is enough-to just listen, care and understand. i walk around school and laugh like it really doesn't affect me but the more i pretend, the more it eats me up inside. and see here, i'm starting to get all emo and sad.

walked around in the elq today and there were two malay guys who called out my name softly when i walked passed but when i responded, both acted like they didn't call me. i know for a goddamn fact it was my name i heard because mei heard it too. i don't know them, and i don't remember seeing them before. but they know me and my name and it's scary. i walk to my classes plugged into my ipod lost in my own world and the thought that someone around me might know me just really ruins my day. i should really stop. this mood i'm in, this cave i've entering, i can get lost in my own emotions like this for hours and hours and lock myself up in my room the moment i get home and not come out till tomorrow night. i can lie on my bed with my guitar on my lap, paper and pen spread out all over my bed and just stare at the ceiling without talking to anyone. and then sometimes a single tear might escape and i'll fall asleep wishing i had somebody i could lean on.

tell me i'm queer.
i'm so lost in my own world.

i sit around sometimes and watch people around me hurrying from one place to another so busy, so entertained. and i wonder how many of them out there are exactly like me? how many of them are actually breaking at the seams. and i'd get the urge to just scream out and let everyone know that this is how i'm feeling. and if there's anyone out there willing to let me in.
include me because i feel the same. and i've felt this way for the longest time.
i think god should give me a break.







"star light, star bright. first star i see tonight."