finally, time for myself and some ME space. i've been up the whole day just runing errands for my mom, cleaning and washing and grooming leo and all. but yeah. i have been...as usual, busy again this week. backtrack.
wednesday saw sarah and i at the esplanade watching a ballet performance. The legacy of Goh Choo San in collabaration with the Singapore Dance Theatre. man were they good. seriously they were. we went to plaza sing first for lunch at the Manhatten Fish Market. they were a copy of fish and co. really they were. and then...we sat at the chocolate bar before the performance. it was awesome. there was this dance called the Schubert's Symphony that was choreographed by goh choo san as a dare within 16 hours and omg it was so beautiful. the footwork was so clear and precsise. and the costumes! oh how they dazzled with the sequins and all. i can't tell you how it felt sitting there watching dancers looking so graceful float across the stage and it made me miss dancing and performing. all i do nowadays is teach. i don't really have to do much. i miss performing. i miss the long hours of stretching, warm-ups, floorwork, barwork, across-the-floors, the brainstorming for the costume designs, the scouting for materials, the tailoring the measurements the smell of the new costume as you put it on for the first time and how you'd guard it with your life till the performance date, the rehersals the standing on stage, the feel of the wood under your bare feet as you run across it. the anticipation the excitement the crowd their cheer the lighting the cues the counts the prayers the mad rush backstage to get dressed for your next call the make up the mirrors the touch ups the hairspray. so much i miss. i feel so stagnent. my life now is just wake up, go to school, tuition, teaching, home, town, friends. that's all. see the difference? i don't like it. i need more to stimulate me. to get me going and to give me something to really look forwards to when i wake in the morning. so much so that i'd jump out of bed eager to get ready for modern dance or ballet. it just feels like there's something missing now. the dance. the lacklustre dance.
thursday.....thursday what did i do? oh yeah i net up with keng hao for lunch but becuz i was so busy, i couldn't stay for long and he didn't want to go home. weird. but yeah...Juan called though and he accompanied on the phone to golden landmark to get my leotard.it's beautiful. a black speg-strap one with a super low back and straps that criss cross behind. i love it. had a little time after that so i walked aross the road to gotham city and walked among the statues and fountains talking to juan. wished he was there at that moment to see what i was seeing. the tall bronze futuristic looking building. went to peninsular plaza after that to get my ernie ball pick. man they had so mant diffrent kinds of designs and colours and pictures. i could go crazy just looking and rummaging through the them.
yesterday i was out with shalyn rin and mitch. the poor shalyn had a quarrel with chris (her bf's name is chris also.) and came red eyed and blocked nose but very beautifully so in her dress and elegently pinned up hair. so yeap..walked around marina square. oh oh oh and i found my hooped earrings that i lost! man i've looked eerywhere for another paur but every topshop i went into all seemed to not have any more stock. i was so upset. until i walked into marina's topshop. dunno why i didn't think of going to marina earlier. i should have remembered that i saw it there when i was out with juan the other time.
last night, sam called at like 1.30am. thank god i wasn't sleeping adn we spoke till like 3 plus in the morning just letting each other in on the songs that we've written and he there playing the guitar singing nice gay songs and complaining that he didn't know how to come up with 2nd verse. oh and he's single again btw. broke up with his gf about a week or so ago. yup yup.
next week will be as busy from what i see. monday's i'm meeting my classmate jonathan and we're gonna finally complete our souldering thingy. tuesday...i'll be meeting sarah foo and i'm gonna take her to this very nice small cafe along stamfort road and after that head over to the chocolate bar. i am suddenly craving for my mexican spicy chocolate. sarah-ann tried the ice granite the other time and i must say that's not too bad either, save for the fact that it was a little powdery. wednesday im going back to sac to see my modern dancers and maybe watch them for a little while, catch up with my beloved Ms Ong. thursday i'm meeting isabel for lunch. yup yup isabel from novena. oh i was at HMV just yesterday lookinf for the previous albums of Corrine May and then i saw it. Camra-Normally Open and i'm like WTH!!! they have an album and i had no idea. such a fan of local music i am huh, to not even know that a friend's band has had their album recorded and up for sale at HMV.
aaaaanyway...i bought Corrine May's latest album Beautiful Seed and i fell in love with it. you know how it is when after buying a new CD it might need some time getting used to and to let that certain song grow on you but not this one. the moment the very first note was played on thh very first song i knew that i would like it and i was not disappointed. Corrine May i like. immensly so. so now i've out myself to the challenge of finding her other 3 albums including the christmas one. her songs are just sung with so much emotion and what i like her songs is that it's the perfect kind of song for when falling in and out of love. just something about the piano notes floating out of the speaker that calms you when you're agitated and falling out of love. that makes you sit back and close your eyes and think of very serenely and securely the person you're falling in love with. it's....just perfect. there's this one song that i like very much. it's song number 12-On My Way. if there was to be a sondtrack to my life it would be it. i don't wanna go into detail about why my choice is so now. the song just speaks alot about how people do change and while they're changing and catching up on what they've lost, be patient and wait. don't push them. don't rush them. don't vilify them. "don't give up on me i'm on my way." and if there's ever a person i'd dedicate this song to, it would be my mom. for obvious reasons and..maybe...the deeper darker ones. all the time i wish she would stop using my brother and i as her pawn in this revenge game she's playing with my father. we're the one who hurt in the end.
Do with it as you will.
i surrender.
take my fears, my inibitions.
all my burdens, my abmitions.
you can use them all.
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