i've been spending alot of time at night lately writing in my diary. i usually don't need so much time, the most a half hour would suffice but lately, i've been taking almost an hour a night just to write down all that has been happening to me, all the emotions i've been feeling. instead of just the two-thirds a page entries, i am now writing olevel-literature-worthy entries. i can't help it. there's just too much to say, to much to confess, too much to complain about, too much to curse, too much to hope, too much excitement, too much. these days, i feel stronger. gone were the days where i proclaimed all too loudly on my blog that i needed a boyfriend to function and was close to breaking down. now, i know all i need is me. i will be my own hero and i mean it. i guess the whole relationship/episode i just came out of has made me realise how much of a....i don't know how to phrase it. how much of a...emotionally self-sufficent person i am. i am me, and i love me. and i don't need those friends who disappear without a word or reason. i am very happy the way i am currently right now and i just regret somehow now that i've given up a year of the best time in my life to be the simmering seductress i am. i find myself perfectly capable of fitting right back into my simmering seductress persona. nad recently i've realised that it's become more than a persona. i find myself being that seductress even at times when i'm not consciously aware. to quote jon " you flirt with class" and i liked the sound of that. i made him repeat that phrase and he willingly obliged. so what now, i'm the classy flirt? i like that.
been talking to juan alot lately. yes i'm sorry for such a brief post earlier about juan and all. i think now i shall properly introduce him to ya'll. he's just this 21 year old NS guy who enjoys his food very much (according to him) but yeah...it actually all started on...let's see. july 12. i remember blogging about how juan had suddenly suprisingly smsed me and asked how i was and all and that it was nice to know that in the lonely confines of tekong someone was thinking of me. even just as a friend, was sufficient enough for me. so yup. since then, we've been exchanging smses and talking alot on the phone at night. and yup needless to say we met up about 2 weeks ago for lunch at HK cafe at marina square and then walked around a little and talked alot. very nice guy he is. used to be the bass player for the local band Rafe. i still stand by the fact that their album was on of the best local albums i've bought next to electrico. and sorry but i think The Observatory was a mess. don't like their music one bit. ok so yeah what was i saying? oh juan. yup he's passing out of bmt soon. september 12 to be exact and then after that he gets 2 weeks break. (juan you'll get your life back then. but till sept 12, yes you have no life. you're in NS. you're not SUPPOSED to have a life.) he hopes to be posted to the military police after that. so yup. during his 2 weeks off he has already very kindly (and wisely, i must say) decided to accompany me to the MINT toy museum. i am looking for the Earl Lu Gallery and i now suspect that it's in LA-SALLE. 90 goodman road isn't it? then that should be la-salle. so yeah, he's gonna accompany me on my gallery/museum/art exhibition outing. sonce it's my holidays now and i have freaking one and a half months off, i have decided to take the time to go to all the museums, galleries, art exhibitons, photography exhibitions that i can find and know about. next stop after Earl lu gallery will be the red dot design museum, and then sculpture square. juan has also said that he would accompany me on my photography outings and have old chang kee beneath the shade of some nearby tree or building. i can't wait for those 2 weeks to come. i'm dying just with the anticipating thoughts of standing in the windy afternoon breeze at the esplanade taking pictures with juan not too far from my view. come back to earth inez. i'm dreaming on some faraway cloud. september 12 cannot come fast enough. but i shall be patience. good things come to all who wait.
doesn't it?
chao.
[edit]
you're something new.
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