heaven

i feel at peace. i think shakeel really came at a right time. just as im trying to heal, getting back on my feet, cleared out all of joo's stuff from my room, doing really well just my jobs, building stronger friendships with my closest friends, shakeel came along.

i love it so much that we actually started out as friends. that we had gotten the chance to know each other first before jumping into anything serious. it's so heartwarming to know that at any time any place and with whoever you are, love can find you no matter where or how you run. i just wanna giggle at the fact that we've hung out so many many times before, late night beers and cigarettes included, and been in such close quarters and yet have never ever seen each other in this light before. what changed? why is it suddenly something is different? there is this enormous urge to wanna hug him and kiss him and hold him and to simply wanna be with him.

it's such a peaceful feeling. when we lay together in bed just talking about stuff, it feels like we've been doing this for such a long time. our first kiss felt so natural, so comfortable, like it was meant to be. like WE were meant to be. the moment our lips touched, fuck me if i sound strange, but i knew we were something great. it felt like we had already kissed ages ago. it felt safe. omg i wanna laugh! this is so strange!

i closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest the other day on the bus, and i felt safe. like the noise just melted away and then right on cue he hugged me and kissed my hair, and it made me even more sure that this is where im supposed to be. everytime we talk about how we started off as friends, we always get so amazed at all the times we've never really taken any notice of each other, and yet, everything we have ever done as friends just seems to have lead to this very moment here with him.

i am happy. a peaceful happy i am. and though i know that our relationship together is most definitely going to face alot of questioning because of our differences in race and religion, i will work to make us perfect. i cant explain it, i just know that this is worth it. it's worth putting my time and effort into making it work =)

"castles and cathedrals crumble, pyramids and pipelines tumble.

the failure keeps you humble, leads us closer to peace"