I've been tossing and turning here on my side of the bed for the past 4 hours and as each hour comes and goes, the pain just gets worst. It is no longer pain that will go away with something sweet you might say. It has become pain that I'm fearful of. Seeing your face every morning is such a beautiful way to start my day. But oh if only you knew how it haunts me too.
My dear you have no idea how hard I try. How much acting I have to do when I'm around you, especially on days that all I wanna do is be loved by you. These days are especially hard because my acting has to be upped a notch, all because I know you will never and can never. And these are the days I have to psych myself into not wanting you so much. An incredibly tall feat if you ask me, esp when you're right here smiling straight at me, just barely out of my reach.
Thinking about the excuses you make, god it hurts. I just wished you could be a bit more honest with me. Don't come and tell me it's something that's easier for you to do, putting your arms around her in such a situation. As compared to not doing so and making it more difficult. Because I can so think of more than a couple of instances where we were in that same situation and you chose to do the latter.
But then again I should have realised, what comes naturally for you with her is always only your last option when it comes to me.
[hurting on the go] Inezcaroline
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