i am so stupid.
why ever did i let myself get involved..
I revel in the silence, seeking stillness of the mind.
But falter on the precipice of a world plagued with time.
The courage to be seen,
the willingness to be hurt,
and the ability to face our fears
in order to experience deeply and honestly what lies within.
literally, tears.
i am so angry with myself now. SO angry with myself. i feel like i should have known better. i should have known not to be taken in by all the cute smiles and tender kisses. known not to have melted under your charm. how more disappointed in myself can i be? i do this all the time! all the goddamn time! i should learn to be abit more guarded. abit more reserved. i hate being like an open book all the time. people come, leave their mark, then leave. and here i am, nothing but an open book full of stains and blotches that can never go away. really, what the FUCK is wrong with me?! why do i keep doing this to myself?! you were just being a guy and i should have never let myself forget that. NEVER. i only have myself to blame for this.
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