here it is.
it makes me feel sad, somehow, looking at this picture. like for some reason, it reminds me of the things i've done and gone through. today has been a rather down day to me. all i wanna do is sit in some lone corner by myself and think and evaluate my feelings. the past few months have been a rather eventful one. metting friends, making friends, socialising, falling in love, falling out of love, going through that uncertainty period and all that shit. it has made me suddenly very tired. kelvin said to me the other day that maybe i need more time to myself to do my own stuff outside school and maybe start seeing someone (abit). honestly, i'm really tired with it. i know the things i've been doing isn't right, and when it's all over, i sit by myself and cry not in self-pity but with anger. anger towards myself. and the only question going through my mind would be why i keep doing. why do i keep pushing myself into the frontline of it all? why do i find something i like and then do something to destroy it? i just wanna settle down into something more stable. into a routine which i can find comfort in. be a loner, whatever. anything that would make me feel somehow...more useful. more contented. more wanted. i'm so tired of all this. really i am. even sitting here typing this i feel like if i don't stop typing soon i'm gonna start crying. but you know, maybe that's what i need. to cry it all out and start over anew. and i mean, REALLY, start things anew.
enough of all this rubbish with the simmering seductress.
i just wanna be me again.
whoever that is.
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